笑话网一、英语小笑话带翻译精选
1、A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”
一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么？”他问道。大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩儿吧。”
2、Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today． It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it’s Not Robert Browning?
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。这个系统是这样的，她说，假定你要记住一个诗人的名字，例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯，让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗？警察燃烧！ 我明白你的意思，班上的万事通说，但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢？
3、The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on（溺爱，宠爱） him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother’s loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. “Was school all right?” she asked, “Did you get along all right? Did you cry?””Cry?” John asked. “No, I didn’t cry, but the teacher did!”
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
二、英语小笑话带翻译推荐
1、A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. “How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked. “We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”
孩子在车库打球时掉了一只隐形眼镜。
找了一会儿，他告诉母亲找不到了。母亲出去了，几分钟以后，拿着隐形眼镜回来。“妈妈，你是怎么找到的？”孩子问。“我们找的不是同一件东西，”母亲回答，“你找的是一小片塑料，而我是在找150块钱。”
2、Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
3、hree men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
“Oh yes, ” he said. “They are my friends.
“In that case, ” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”
“Yes, sir, ” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三位男子在公园的长椅上坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。
“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友。”
“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂般地做起划桨的动作来。
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