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英语幽默小短文

一、英语幽默小短文精选

1、On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist’s shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.
Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.
Yes, I said.
For her birthday? she asked.
No, I replied.
For your anniversary?
No, I said again.
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

一天晚上回家的路上,我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打,走进店里,一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。
先生,这些是送给你妻子的吗?她问道。
是的,我说。
她的生日?她问。
不是,我回答。
你们的结婚纪念日?
不是,我又答道。
当我将找回的钱装进口袋,朝门口走去时,那年轻的女人冲我喊道:希望她能原谅你。

2、Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple “Good morning”.
“Good morning,” she replied cheerfully. “I’m going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It’s so easy!”

一位妇女把车沿着我们银行的驱车直达窗口开过来,可她并不满意于她停的位置。因此她倒车,靠得更近点。还是不满意,倒车,再来。五次努力后,终于她把车停下来,摇下车窗。我简单地问候她一声“早上好”。
“早上好,”她愉快地回答说,“以后我都要使用这种驱车直达窗口。真是如此的方便。”

3、Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She
locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman
on the door: “NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING.”
When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
“THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!”

布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门,在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条:“家里没人,请不要留下任何东西!” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开,房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上,她发现被补充了一句:“谢谢!我们什么也没留下!”

二、英语幽默小短文推荐

1、Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much …

有一个神经病,不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪,他走在一条小黑胡同里。突然遇上一个年轻人,神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。问道,一加一得几。年轻人吓坏了,沉思了很久。回答,等于二。神经病毫不犹豫的打死了他。然后把抢拽在怀里,冰冷的说了一句,你知道的太多了…

2、One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer,” I see that your pig likes apples, but isn”t that quite a waste of time?” The farmer replied,” What”s time to a pig?”

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,”我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?”那位农夫 回答说,“时间对猪有什么意义?”

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